no apologies
no resolutions
no regrets
happy new year
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The song remains the same...
My mom told me that when she was a girl, she and her sisters dried their hair in the oven.
The subject came up when I told her I was reading The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath. She didn’t know or remember the poet, so I was reminding her that Plath had committed suicide by putting her head in the oven.
Mom didn’t remember that I had been reading about Plath since I was a teenager, studying The Bell Jar, but also several biographies and her poetry.
When she told me about her childhood memory, I wondered if the idea of killing yourself by turning the gas on and shoving your head in the oven would have ever been considered, if people decades earlier hadn’t had the custom.
Plath started keeping journals when she was 11 and she never stopped. These newer released journals are those of her adulthood, 1950-1962. Plath killed herself in February of 1963. I know when I come to the end of these journals, it will be sad, but right now, I found something new and joyful.
The 18-year-old was already an award-winning poet, but her private writings are so lyrical – her simple thoughts to herself, pure prose. She would have definitely been a top blogger if she lived today, and you could be sure that the words you read were felt fiercely and relentlessly by their writer. Her entries are about her days at Smith College, the frenzy of dating in order to find a true love, and how both of those topics were so superficial - in light of the war the country was living through at the time. Fear was the underlying theme of her work, but she wove that fear right into the beauty of the fireflies or crickets she watched under the stars at night.
And even humor:
“Today is the first of August. It is hot, steamy and wet. It is raining. I am tempted to right a poem. But I remember what it said on one rejection slip: ‘After a heavy rainfall, poems titled RAIN pour in from across the nation’.”
Her passion for writing was apparent:
“I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, emotions, as that person. But I am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I’ll ever have. And you cannot regard you own life with objective curiosity all the time.”
And her trepidation:
“Nothing is real except the present, and already I feel the weight of centuries smothering me. Some girl a hundred years ago once lived as I do. And she is dead. I am the present, but I know, I, too will pass. The high moment, the burning flash, come and are gone, continuous quicksand. And I don’t want to die.”
I am not a poet. I can’t wrap my head around how one’s thoughts can be so easily transcribed onto paper so beautifully. But I am grateful that she figured it out.
The subject came up when I told her I was reading The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath. She didn’t know or remember the poet, so I was reminding her that Plath had committed suicide by putting her head in the oven.
Mom didn’t remember that I had been reading about Plath since I was a teenager, studying The Bell Jar, but also several biographies and her poetry.
When she told me about her childhood memory, I wondered if the idea of killing yourself by turning the gas on and shoving your head in the oven would have ever been considered, if people decades earlier hadn’t had the custom.
Plath started keeping journals when she was 11 and she never stopped. These newer released journals are those of her adulthood, 1950-1962. Plath killed herself in February of 1963. I know when I come to the end of these journals, it will be sad, but right now, I found something new and joyful.
The 18-year-old was already an award-winning poet, but her private writings are so lyrical – her simple thoughts to herself, pure prose. She would have definitely been a top blogger if she lived today, and you could be sure that the words you read were felt fiercely and relentlessly by their writer. Her entries are about her days at Smith College, the frenzy of dating in order to find a true love, and how both of those topics were so superficial - in light of the war the country was living through at the time. Fear was the underlying theme of her work, but she wove that fear right into the beauty of the fireflies or crickets she watched under the stars at night.
And even humor:
“Today is the first of August. It is hot, steamy and wet. It is raining. I am tempted to right a poem. But I remember what it said on one rejection slip: ‘After a heavy rainfall, poems titled RAIN pour in from across the nation’.”
Her passion for writing was apparent:
“I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, emotions, as that person. But I am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I’ll ever have. And you cannot regard you own life with objective curiosity all the time.”
And her trepidation:
“Nothing is real except the present, and already I feel the weight of centuries smothering me. Some girl a hundred years ago once lived as I do. And she is dead. I am the present, but I know, I, too will pass. The high moment, the burning flash, come and are gone, continuous quicksand. And I don’t want to die.”
I am not a poet. I can’t wrap my head around how one’s thoughts can be so easily transcribed onto paper so beautifully. But I am grateful that she figured it out.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Trimming the Fat
We're only a couple of weeks away from the new year...so no better time to reflect on the past year. For me, this year has been a difficult one in many areas. But the feeling I strive to hold on to is that I made it through...not without some tears and time spent wondering what the hell am I doing...but still, made it through.
Carrying me through this year has been a tiny book hidden in my purse - the Pocket Pema Chodron. With over 100 short teachings by Chodron, a Buddhist nun, I read about patience, living with no agenda, moving beyond self-protection, overcoming self-deception and more. I'm not here to tell you I have reached any higher plane, just that I've been reading:).
No matter the difficulties, I'm thankful for a lot too. For true friends (you know who you are), family and times spent with you.
Letting go of people and things that aren't part of a better new year is what I hope to do for myself. Trimming the fat - in more ways than one!
I hope everyone I care about sees a new year that lets you fulfill all your wishes...and find peace of mind for yourself. I'll just share with you one of my favorite passages from the book:
There are no promises...
When we are training in the art of peace, we are not given any promises that because of our noble intentions everything will be okay. In fact, there are no promises of fruition at all. Instead, we are encouraged to simply look at joy and sorrow, at laughing and crying, at hoping and fearing, at all that lives and dies. We learn that what truly heals is gratitude and tenderness.
Groovy wishes to everyone for their New Year!
Carrying me through this year has been a tiny book hidden in my purse - the Pocket Pema Chodron. With over 100 short teachings by Chodron, a Buddhist nun, I read about patience, living with no agenda, moving beyond self-protection, overcoming self-deception and more. I'm not here to tell you I have reached any higher plane, just that I've been reading:).
No matter the difficulties, I'm thankful for a lot too. For true friends (you know who you are), family and times spent with you.
Letting go of people and things that aren't part of a better new year is what I hope to do for myself. Trimming the fat - in more ways than one!
I hope everyone I care about sees a new year that lets you fulfill all your wishes...and find peace of mind for yourself. I'll just share with you one of my favorite passages from the book:
There are no promises...
When we are training in the art of peace, we are not given any promises that because of our noble intentions everything will be okay. In fact, there are no promises of fruition at all. Instead, we are encouraged to simply look at joy and sorrow, at laughing and crying, at hoping and fearing, at all that lives and dies. We learn that what truly heals is gratitude and tenderness.
Groovy wishes to everyone for their New Year!
Friday, November 27, 2009
To Shop or Not to Shop!
*Warning: Some readers may take offense at what they're about to read. Luckily, there are millions of other sites to visit...
For the second year in a row, I have not risen to join the crowds in this Black Friday frenzy. The day has lost much of its joy, and if I venture out at all today, it will be later this evening when the masses have returned home with their 1/2 off bargains.
I remember this being a day I always went shopping with my mom. Then, as an adult, I always shopped with girlfriends. When I had my daughter, I took her with me. Now that she's almost 12, she doesn't want to go - so I don't force her. The point is this was the day when women left their husbands, boyfriends, brothers and fathers home, watching college football, while they shopped to their hearts content. It was an act of nurturing; getting an early start on the family's Christmas presents.
Were there minor scuffles over a Macy's display with limited cashmere sweaters? Maybe, but I don't recall ever hearing of women shooting each other, stabbing each other or trampling over each other to buy trinkets to stuff their children's stockings.
My brother says it's the breakdown of society, and he wasn't too keen when I blamed most of the mayhem on the fact that men have now gotten in on the action.
No longer is it a day of women shopping, taking a break to eat lunch or see a movie. That thought seems straight out of the 70s! No, today's shopper is just as likely to be male...also, today's shoppers are shopping for themselves just as much, if not more, than for others. And retailers have realized who their new demographic is. This is evident as electronics are one of the most popular items on sale today.
News items and ads this week:
In the past several years, late news headlines show us violent scenes from these stores...the frenzy to get a deal on a television or the newest video game has overtaken the care and concern for human life. People today won't only refuse to make eye contact with each other, but will not give a thought to shoving past each other to get what they want.
Am I wrong to blame men? Is my brother right, that it's society as a whole? Are the women out there today just as beligerent as the men? All I know is I don't want to be in the middle of some cockfight over who's going to get the Zhu Zhu hamsters.
You let me know...if you go out today, post a comment and tell me what you saw.
For the second year in a row, I have not risen to join the crowds in this Black Friday frenzy. The day has lost much of its joy, and if I venture out at all today, it will be later this evening when the masses have returned home with their 1/2 off bargains.
I remember this being a day I always went shopping with my mom. Then, as an adult, I always shopped with girlfriends. When I had my daughter, I took her with me. Now that she's almost 12, she doesn't want to go - so I don't force her. The point is this was the day when women left their husbands, boyfriends, brothers and fathers home, watching college football, while they shopped to their hearts content. It was an act of nurturing; getting an early start on the family's Christmas presents.
Were there minor scuffles over a Macy's display with limited cashmere sweaters? Maybe, but I don't recall ever hearing of women shooting each other, stabbing each other or trampling over each other to buy trinkets to stuff their children's stockings.
My brother says it's the breakdown of society, and he wasn't too keen when I blamed most of the mayhem on the fact that men have now gotten in on the action.
No longer is it a day of women shopping, taking a break to eat lunch or see a movie. That thought seems straight out of the 70s! No, today's shopper is just as likely to be male...also, today's shoppers are shopping for themselves just as much, if not more, than for others. And retailers have realized who their new demographic is. This is evident as electronics are one of the most popular items on sale today.
News items and ads this week:
- WALMART: 32" Emerson Flatscreen TV for $238.00
- The majority of people camped out on the Best Buy sidewalk since Wednesday morning are men. Either men by themselves, or "family men", who have their wives cooking Thanksgiving dinners on hotplates or other relatives bringing them food.
In the past several years, late news headlines show us violent scenes from these stores...the frenzy to get a deal on a television or the newest video game has overtaken the care and concern for human life. People today won't only refuse to make eye contact with each other, but will not give a thought to shoving past each other to get what they want.
Am I wrong to blame men? Is my brother right, that it's society as a whole? Are the women out there today just as beligerent as the men? All I know is I don't want to be in the middle of some cockfight over who's going to get the Zhu Zhu hamsters.
You let me know...if you go out today, post a comment and tell me what you saw.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
NaNoWriMo Update
Sadly, I am only at 4,800 words. At this point, I should have written 30,000 words. I tell myself that the people who are meeting that goal must not have jobs, children, E-mail, cell phones, or tickets to New Moon!
But in keeping with my resolution to stay positive in all areas of life, I am officially telling myself that if I hit 10,000 words by the end of the month, I will be still be successful...i know...lame! That's only a little more than 50 pages - not quite the 250 word page novel we're striving for, but still a good start!
Other Writing News
Someone requested I publish one of the stories I'm working on, so I'm giving you a PDF of a book I'm writing for my daughter. It's called Mystery at Mound Key, and it's the story of four kids suffering through the normal teenage angst, who stumble upon an ancient relic that gives them special powers. They'll need to master these powers if they're going to help find out who set fire to their school library, and left someone to die in the building. The story has a local inspiration, as Mound Key is in Estero Bay, at Fort Myers Beach. The Mound was the ceremonial center of the Calusa Indians.
I'm giving you the first 7,000 words or so...this isn't the book I'm writing for NaNoWriMo, but it was just accepted into the Tampa Writer's Association novel competition for judging...so enjoy!
http://www.vroberts.com/uploads/MYSTERY_AT_MOUND_KEY.pdf
Sadly, I am only at 4,800 words. At this point, I should have written 30,000 words. I tell myself that the people who are meeting that goal must not have jobs, children, E-mail, cell phones, or tickets to New Moon!
But in keeping with my resolution to stay positive in all areas of life, I am officially telling myself that if I hit 10,000 words by the end of the month, I will be still be successful...i know...lame! That's only a little more than 50 pages - not quite the 250 word page novel we're striving for, but still a good start!
Other Writing News
Someone requested I publish one of the stories I'm working on, so I'm giving you a PDF of a book I'm writing for my daughter. It's called Mystery at Mound Key, and it's the story of four kids suffering through the normal teenage angst, who stumble upon an ancient relic that gives them special powers. They'll need to master these powers if they're going to help find out who set fire to their school library, and left someone to die in the building. The story has a local inspiration, as Mound Key is in Estero Bay, at Fort Myers Beach. The Mound was the ceremonial center of the Calusa Indians.
I'm giving you the first 7,000 words or so...this isn't the book I'm writing for NaNoWriMo, but it was just accepted into the Tampa Writer's Association novel competition for judging...so enjoy!
http://www.vroberts.com/uploads/MYSTERY_AT_MOUND_KEY.pdf
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Taking the leap...
Do you wait for things to come to you, or do you go after what you want?
Procrastination, apathy, ambition, self-discipline...which of these words would you use to describe yourself in relation to the important areas of your life? When it comes to your career, relationships or habits you need to lose, how do you approach change?
These days, a lot of people I know are talking about their jobs. I guess in our present economy, even the most talented and reliable people are worried about their futures. I'm going out on a limb here though, so climb out there with me for a few...
I'm tired of everyone telling me to be thankful to have a job. Seriously? Now is not the time to be placated by the hype that there are no jobs out there, and if you're lucky enough to have a job, you better just grin and bear it. I believe now is the perfect time to take stock of where you are, and ask yourself, "Is this where I want to be for the next 10 years?"
If your answer is no, then there's no time like today to change your future. However, that's when you have to think about the words at the beginning of this post. It's unlikely someone is going to knock on your door or call you on your cell phone to offer you your dream position.
So...do you procrastinate? Do you see an opportunity and either ignore it, or overthink it to the point that you convince yourself that you have no chance, so you do nothing?
Are you apathetic? Are you one of the people on the elevator, or in the lunch room who lament about your company or the state of the economy - and then go right back to your cube to finish the next job, thinking you have no control over anything anyway?
Hopefully not. I hope you all know you have talent, that you are worth something, and that there is opportunity out there. Become acquainted with the other two words above: ambition and self-discipline. Go after what you want and have the discipline to keep going after what you want until you have it.
Thanks to those of you who have supported me, and continue to inspire me everyday to reach out for more!
*Initial inspiration for this post came from an article I read recently about local people who have carved out new careers for themselves after being laid off from their job. The person that stuck out to me was Tampa businessman, Joseph Sales, inventor of the iTie...may sound funny at first, but his product is getting a lot of attention...check out his pitch (R.I.P. Billy Mays)
http://www.youtube.com/user/SALEINTAMPA
carry on...
Procrastination, apathy, ambition, self-discipline...which of these words would you use to describe yourself in relation to the important areas of your life? When it comes to your career, relationships or habits you need to lose, how do you approach change?
These days, a lot of people I know are talking about their jobs. I guess in our present economy, even the most talented and reliable people are worried about their futures. I'm going out on a limb here though, so climb out there with me for a few...
I'm tired of everyone telling me to be thankful to have a job. Seriously? Now is not the time to be placated by the hype that there are no jobs out there, and if you're lucky enough to have a job, you better just grin and bear it. I believe now is the perfect time to take stock of where you are, and ask yourself, "Is this where I want to be for the next 10 years?"
If your answer is no, then there's no time like today to change your future. However, that's when you have to think about the words at the beginning of this post. It's unlikely someone is going to knock on your door or call you on your cell phone to offer you your dream position.
So...do you procrastinate? Do you see an opportunity and either ignore it, or overthink it to the point that you convince yourself that you have no chance, so you do nothing?
Are you apathetic? Are you one of the people on the elevator, or in the lunch room who lament about your company or the state of the economy - and then go right back to your cube to finish the next job, thinking you have no control over anything anyway?
Hopefully not. I hope you all know you have talent, that you are worth something, and that there is opportunity out there. Become acquainted with the other two words above: ambition and self-discipline. Go after what you want and have the discipline to keep going after what you want until you have it.
Thanks to those of you who have supported me, and continue to inspire me everyday to reach out for more!
*Initial inspiration for this post came from an article I read recently about local people who have carved out new careers for themselves after being laid off from their job. The person that stuck out to me was Tampa businessman, Joseph Sales, inventor of the iTie...may sound funny at first, but his product is getting a lot of attention...check out his pitch (R.I.P. Billy Mays)
http://www.youtube.com/user/SALEINTAMPA
carry on...
Sunday, November 15, 2009
What am I reading?
Your Invisible Power, by Genevieve Behrend.
I was given this 80 page PDF after a discussion about the power of positive thinking. Usually the skeptic, I printed this out, and have to admit, I've spent all day highlighting!
Written in the 1920s, this woman provides a look into her own early journey of uncovering the Laws of Attraction. It's incredible to me that a woman journeyed to this place alone in order to find a higher meaning to her life.
If you're reading Dan Brown's books, you'll find Behrend's words the non-fiction version of what he's talking about...basically, how we can attract what we want, and that the ideas of God, Christ and the secret to man's happiness is easier to find than we might think.
What I'm writing:
Still working on NaNoWriMo - but not as far along as I wish. Barely breaking 5,000, I'm determined not to give up. Worst case scenario, it provided me a worthwhile subject for a future novel.
In other news:
Went to my writer's group the other night. Our first one since the main library in St. Petersburg re-opened. I have to say, it is beautiful. They did a wonderful job and I'm excited to go back soon.
We had guest speaker, celebrity ghostwriter, Bev Browning. I'd heard about her Shimmer workshops, and this was a short version of it, but well worth it. She was engaging, and I took away some great information about creating subtext in my work.
Your Invisible Power, by Genevieve Behrend.
I was given this 80 page PDF after a discussion about the power of positive thinking. Usually the skeptic, I printed this out, and have to admit, I've spent all day highlighting!
Written in the 1920s, this woman provides a look into her own early journey of uncovering the Laws of Attraction. It's incredible to me that a woman journeyed to this place alone in order to find a higher meaning to her life.
If you're reading Dan Brown's books, you'll find Behrend's words the non-fiction version of what he's talking about...basically, how we can attract what we want, and that the ideas of God, Christ and the secret to man's happiness is easier to find than we might think.
What I'm writing:
Still working on NaNoWriMo - but not as far along as I wish. Barely breaking 5,000, I'm determined not to give up. Worst case scenario, it provided me a worthwhile subject for a future novel.
In other news:
Went to my writer's group the other night. Our first one since the main library in St. Petersburg re-opened. I have to say, it is beautiful. They did a wonderful job and I'm excited to go back soon.
We had guest speaker, celebrity ghostwriter, Bev Browning. I'd heard about her Shimmer workshops, and this was a short version of it, but well worth it. She was engaging, and I took away some great information about creating subtext in my work.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
November is Novel Writing Month!
Today was the first day of NaNoWriMo...
To complete this goal, I have to write 1,667 words a day. That's a little more than 400 words an hour if I try to write four hours every day, which of course will not happen!
I made a grand sweep of it today, writing over 3,000 words - knowing I may not get a chance tomorrow. But it's all in good fun, right? My daughter is keeping me motivated - THANKS JADA!!
My fingers are tired, writing the story, working on my website and making sure I hit my blog today - so this will be a short post.
Click here to...
Check out my website
Good luck to all the other writers out there taking this journey!
To complete this goal, I have to write 1,667 words a day. That's a little more than 400 words an hour if I try to write four hours every day, which of course will not happen!
I made a grand sweep of it today, writing over 3,000 words - knowing I may not get a chance tomorrow. But it's all in good fun, right? My daughter is keeping me motivated - THANKS JADA!!
My fingers are tired, writing the story, working on my website and making sure I hit my blog today - so this will be a short post.
Click here to...
Check out my website
Good luck to all the other writers out there taking this journey!
Monday, October 12, 2009
NaNoWriMo
What the heck is NaNoWriMo?
Prior to last week, I didn't know either! After hearing about it from my writer's group leader, I went home and did some research. What I found was a cool, grassroots adventure that I'm happy to now be a part of.
Started in 1999 by 21 San Francisco Bay would-be novelists, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. Each November, writers pledge to start a new project, and complete 50,000 words by the last day of the month. Only 10 years later, and participation now exceeds 100,000 people worldwide.
The project has a interesting history, I encourage you to check it out: http://www.nanowrimo.org/
Once you sign up, join your regional group. Your word count is included in your group's count - which seems to be a big part of the fun...there's some trash-talking on the forums...gives you that same feeling as the Seminole/Gator rivalry!
The only downside for me personally, is that you are supposed to start a brand new project. You can use an outline for a project you haven't actually started writing, but otherwise it should be brand new. This presents a problem for me, as I have two other stories I'm working on, and to start a new one will leave less time for the others. But I'm biting the bullet, because I really want to be a part of this.
There is no monetary prize, just the satisfaction of completing the job. I read several forums, people excited to be coming back for another try...people who had actually hit the 50K and had the honor of posting a Winner's web badge on their own site.
If you're looking for inspiration to start that new novel, here it is.
![]()
Prior to last week, I didn't know either! After hearing about it from my writer's group leader, I went home and did some research. What I found was a cool, grassroots adventure that I'm happy to now be a part of.
Started in 1999 by 21 San Francisco Bay would-be novelists, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. Each November, writers pledge to start a new project, and complete 50,000 words by the last day of the month. Only 10 years later, and participation now exceeds 100,000 people worldwide.
The project has a interesting history, I encourage you to check it out: http://www.nanowrimo.org/
Once you sign up, join your regional group. Your word count is included in your group's count - which seems to be a big part of the fun...there's some trash-talking on the forums...gives you that same feeling as the Seminole/Gator rivalry!
The only downside for me personally, is that you are supposed to start a brand new project. You can use an outline for a project you haven't actually started writing, but otherwise it should be brand new. This presents a problem for me, as I have two other stories I'm working on, and to start a new one will leave less time for the others. But I'm biting the bullet, because I really want to be a part of this.
There is no monetary prize, just the satisfaction of completing the job. I read several forums, people excited to be coming back for another try...people who had actually hit the 50K and had the honor of posting a Winner's web badge on their own site.
If you're looking for inspiration to start that new novel, here it is.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Prologue
At a recent meeting of a writer's group I sometimes attend, a guest speaker was talking about first chapters. When I innocently asked a question about using prologues, there were a few gasps from my peers. One of the women were heard to say, "Prologues aren't good. Whatever is in your prologue should always just be your first chapter."
Well, since I'm not one to argue with strangers, I didn't. And when the speaker gave a slight nod to the woman, I wasn't encouraged. She mentioned, "Prologues have fallen out of favor with editors."
Of course, I didn't agree, in fact, a novel I'm working on right now does include a prologue, hence my interest. What I felt like saying was that I am interested in writing literature that doesn't cater to what's in favor or in fad right now. The point of writing worthwhile fiction is that it stands the test of time, and many of the classics I love do have a prologue. I'm not one to write to someone else's whims, so my prologue stays.
Anyway, I digress...
This post is my blogging prologue - hopefully it won't be separated from the rest of my posts by too much time. My goal is to keep myself honest by relaying what's going on in my writing life on a regular basis. Writing is a solo adventure....i have no one else to please...i am my own muse.
Well, since I'm not one to argue with strangers, I didn't. And when the speaker gave a slight nod to the woman, I wasn't encouraged. She mentioned, "Prologues have fallen out of favor with editors."
Of course, I didn't agree, in fact, a novel I'm working on right now does include a prologue, hence my interest. What I felt like saying was that I am interested in writing literature that doesn't cater to what's in favor or in fad right now. The point of writing worthwhile fiction is that it stands the test of time, and many of the classics I love do have a prologue. I'm not one to write to someone else's whims, so my prologue stays.
Anyway, I digress...
This post is my blogging prologue - hopefully it won't be separated from the rest of my posts by too much time. My goal is to keep myself honest by relaying what's going on in my writing life on a regular basis. Writing is a solo adventure....i have no one else to please...i am my own muse.
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